Sunday, December 29, 2013

The new sites are live!

After much frustration, aggravation and caffeine... I have reworked both websites. Take a minute to check in and let me know what you think. Over 150 posts this year between the two.

For the men who want to be better husbands...

For those poor souls who have decided to make a career of audio or video production....

And my first book is done.
The Art of the Soundcheck book

Thanks for all the support guys.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

I am moving it all over to Wordpress

I have been reduced to doing all my work on an iPad. Blogger is a massive pain to edit and write when all you have is an iPad.
The last few posts wouldn't even load properly. I surrender.
So. From here on, except for an occasional update, everything goes to Wordpress only.
There are already several new ones that aren't on here.
Go see.....
Erik's Blog

I have also started a second blog about my time in the pro audio world. Some advice and tips for the new guys in live sound and studio work.
The Art of the Soundcheck

I had hoped to post on blogger and Wordpress simultaneously, but blogger is just too aggravating.
Feel free to visit the other sites. Thanks

Saturday, July 6, 2013

The main reason you aren't scoring brownie points

A pastor explained something to me years ago that was pretty simple. Should have figured this out on my own. There's a big difference in doing a good thing versus doing the right thing. Sometimes it's the same. Kinda like they told me in school about squares and rectangles. A rectangle is always a square but a square isn't always a rectangle. Something like that. The right thing is always a good thing but a good thing isn't always the right thing. 
Example. I come home, the family is at the grocery store picking up stuff for dinner. I have the house to myself. The kitchen is a mess. In anticipation of the family returning home soon to cook dinner, I clean the kitchen. Even though email and the sofa and the Xbox are patiently waiting for me, I clean up the kitchen. Then hit the sofa. 
That is an example of doing the right thing and a good thing. Wife comes home, pleasantly surprised. Life is good. Brownie points achieved. Yay me. I could do a good thing and still blow it. If she had asked me to clean the kitchen, and I didn't, that's bad. Ignoring a request from your wife is a bad thing. ( sorry if I sound like a preschool teacher here ) We are going to train our brain to do the right thing. Not just good things. Here's the difference. 
If she asked me to wash the dishes, I could go in there with great intentions and wipe the counters. I could run through the house, grab all the dirty laundry and wash it. I could clean out the refrigerator. I could mop the floor. I could mow the lawn, wash the car, paint the house, cure cancer and save the world from imminent doom. I could do any number of amazing things, worthy of brownie points, and she would not be impressed. Even though we did a lot of GOOD stuff, we didn't do the RIGHT stuff. Most guys still don't understand this. We did something great, where's my pat on the head? 
She comes in with groceries. Walks past all our achievements, and stares at a sink full of dirty dishes. She is not happy. Even though we may have just produced our greatest life's work, she isn't impressed. We sometimes confuse that response with not being appreciated. We sometimes make up pet names to mutter under our breath during those times. We sometimes get stressed enough to vow that we will never do anything for her again. We have those kind of thoughts. We assume we did something good, we should be thanked or rewarded. Yeah, like toddlers or something. 
What does she expect from us? Why isn't she thankful? Because she asked us to wash the dishes. We agreed to wash the dishes. There are still dirty dishes in the sink. She is not happy. How is it possible that a few dirty dishes can cause so much stress in the house? Because it proves we aren't listening. It tells her that she isn't our priority. It tells her we will be good husbands, but on our own terms. We will do things that we choose or that benefit us. Not just because she asked or to be good to her. Doing good stuff is still good, but if it's not the right stuff, it's kinds the wrong stuff. 
Does that make us bad husbands, monsters, for not washing dishes? Nope. It just means that we aren't listening. It means that we still have work to do, if we are going to become the man of her dreams. It means that we still haven't put her into the proper place in our world. She is that important. Every little thing we do tells her how we feel about her. Make it count. Watch for opportunities to do the good stuff. Make sure it's the right stuff. 

You might want to read this one, too.No expectations