I am no psychologist, but if you are, feel free to chime in and comment on this one.
Even though I'm not, I think I understand a few critical things pretty well. Men. We are fairly simple creatures. Give us a hot meal to eat, a female body to hold and a place to poop and we are set. Jeff Foxworthy said something great. He said his wife was staring at him one night. When he asked why, she said she just wished she could figure out what he wanted. His response was pure male. "I believe I'd like a cold beer and to see something naked." That's us.
We also have something insane inside us. A desire to conquer, to achieve, to leave our mark and win respect and admiration. We are driven. It seems to start when we are little kids. Gotta be first on the swing. Gotta swing higher than the other kid. Gotta get the biggest slice of pizza. Gotta have the coolest bike in the neighborhood, gotta go faster than everyone else. Gotta get the girl everyone else thinks is perfect. Gotta have the highest paying job. Then, gotta rub everyone's nose in it. Yeah.
Right or wrong, it how most of us are. Maybe in different ways, but it's in there. Through reading the marriage advice at BestMarriage.com, I found out how to get it under control. Seriously.
Every man has the strength and ability to take care of one adult woman completely. I believe that. Can't be "the man" to your mom, the girls at work, etc. etc. etc. and still give her your best. She need what is best, not leftover. Not second place to anyone or anything. Those internal cravings, to conquer and succeed, are fully satisfied in your marriage if you will do it right. Pursue her, try to figure out what she wants/needs, find ways to satisfy her, conquer the problems that hold your family back, look for ways to make her happy. Yes it is possible, I can prove it.
The pressure we all claim to be under is usually self induced. I know, I did it, too. When I honestly examined my choices and motives over the last ten years, I saw an insecure guy who had to prove himself to everyone. I had to do better than my family said I could. I had to earn enough to have bigger and better things. I created the pressure by using my life and my family to support the facade I was creating. I dare you to really consider where you are and look at your motives. Are you doing stuff for your family or with them? Are the things you do actually things they want you to do? I spent years developing a business to give to my kids and support my family, and they didn't want it. It had nothing to do with anything that mattered to them. And it had become something that kept dad away, so it was already a negative thing to them. Stupid.
I can't explain the freedom I have now. It is so much easier to impress and support one wife than to challenge the entire world and seek their approval. She likes it, too.
Try it, you will like it.