Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Responsibilities and benefits

Going to attempt to make this short and simple. Most of us guys have pretty short attention spans anyway.
Here's the scenario. I have grass in my yard. It look better short, the neighbors appreciate it being short and the little man from the city who gives out fines likes it short. So what the heck did I do? I bought a lawn mower. I felt that to have a need meant I should go find the solution. Grass need cutting. I need a mower. Simple enough. But, there's stuff that mower needs if I intend to get more than one season out of it. Gas. The stupid thing needs gas. Even though I just put gas in it, it needs more. And oil. If that dipstick isn't showing clean oil at the right level, I don't have a mower very long. Blades. It had blades. They need to be sharpened. They have to be tight. They have to be the right size and type for my mower. If I mow lots of rocks and pine cones and random trash, they need to be checked. Wheels. Let one fall off and see how much fun mowing is. Gotta take care of the wheels. What else? Fuel lines and filters, oil changes, maybe a battery, muffler and a few dozen random bolts that shake loose. Yes, there's a point. And yes, I am about to compare our wives to mowers.
We searched for a bride because we had needs. We wanted to be with someone. We wanted a companion, lover, baby maker, friend and someone to grow old with. Most women are very willing to step into those roles for the right guy. The guy who is willing to meet their needs as well. But very often, like my last post covered, we don't. We assume the whole marriage purpose was to meet our needs. Once her needs show up, there's a problem.
Like the story I heard of the old farmer sitting on the porch while his phone kept ringing. When his neighbor finally walked over and asked him why he wouldn't answer, he said... "I put that thing in for my convenience. I'll get up and use it when I need something." Pure stubborn selfishness.
Well guys, guess what happens when you go too long ignoring the needs of your lawn mower? It has to be replaced or starts costing you time and money to fix it. Just like ignoring the needs of your wife. Eventually you don't have one or you have a lot of serious issues to fix. Counseling, books, therapy, prescriptions, etc. all get expensive once someone is pushed too far. Yeah, I would have probably assumed this was for someone else, too. If I had found this before the hammer fell in my house.
I heard another great story that relates. As it was told to me...
A man went to a railroad auction, thinking a railroad freight car would make a good workshop in his property. They were auctioning off sealed cars that has lost the shipping records. Didn't know what was inside. The man finally got one, went for less than $1500, as I was told. After he paid for it they cut the locks. Inside were two 1955 Chevy Belair two door hard tops. Neither had more than 10 miles on it. All his. Perfectly preserved, all original. Virtually priceless.
Cool story. So what? Well. Anyone with enough time, money, persustence can pull any car out of a junkyard and restore it to perfection. Or. You can start with a good thing and preserve it by caring for it and treating it right. Take care of your marriage by caring for your wife.
I am that guy that drove the wheels off. Not really maintaining anything. Trying to fix only the big problems and ignoring the small daily needs. Almost destroyed my family. I was a jackass. Still recovering. Long way left to go. But I found the road home. On the way. Following people who have already made the trip and love it. ( Joel and Kathy )
So. Before someone tells me that mowers and cars are different because they come with manuals, let me add something. That bride of your has a manual. She teaches from it daily. Every minute you spend listening to her gives you a daily lesson from that manual. She is telling you what she likes. What she needs and wants. What makes her happy and sad. What she wants out of life. What she wants you to do more, and less. Listen. Read the manual.

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