Friday, January 25, 2013

Motivation

Wish I was better at remembering details sometimes. (Blame it on my ADD baby) I don't know who said this, but it was great.
"People say motivation doesn't last. Well. Neither do showers, that's why we do it again."
I have to re-motivate myself constantly. Very short attention span, almost like a goldfish. Easily distracted. As a guy, I also gravitate towards selfish, immature decisions. Classic double minded man, tossed around with every wind and wave. Always pursuing things that seem important at the time, but worthless in hindsight.
I have gotten myself committed to so many events, projects, missions, ministries over the years that selfishly demanded every minute of my life. People will gladly milk the best of your time and leave your family the scraps if you let them. If YOU let them. I have been awful at saying "no" when someone asked me for help. Or convinced me of how important, special, necessary or irreplaceable I was to whatever they were doing. I was bad about giving myself to these people and projects, none of which are a part of my life at all now. I did it. I made those choices. I gave the best of myself away and left my family with someone they never saw. Over a ten year stretch, I got angry. I felt it was their fault. They didn't hold up their end of the deal. They screwed me. I became dark and distant. My sarcastic sense of humor became snide remarks and complaining. My family suffered for it.
So. I became highly motivated to change overnight. Not because an angel spoke to me or because I am some amazing person. My wife had enough and wanted to leave me.
The strongest motivation for men to change, and maybe the only real one, is trauma. I honestly question myself as to whether or not I am wasting my time with this. I wouldn't change because anyone told me. I couldn't even hear my wife telling me to change.
Guys. Really. Listen to your wife. She sees things you can't see. She understands things you don't. She feels, discerns, intuitively understands things that blow right past us.
Motivate yourself. Pick your priority. Put her first. Do it daily.

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