Friday, January 25, 2013

Questioning our priorities

I know I just posted a few hours ago, can't help it. Feeling the need for a tirade.
Priorities. Yes, plural. Get past that. The most important issues, people, missions, things in my life. My priorities are my family, my faith, my health. ( none of those have a great track record for proof, but this is a journey I am on )
As Christian, married men.... What do we tell everyone is most important? God first, then family, then church or golf or whatever. We tell people that until we believe it, but is it really true? I can guarantee you that every married, Christian man has made two covenants in his life with witnesses. He has given his life to Christ and become a Christian with all that is required and expected. He has also committed to love a certain woman through any situation or condition forever above every other person alive. So. Are we getting either one right?
We spent years trying to put those two covenants in the same life as the traditional submissive wife teachings. They don't fit together. We have gotten off track. I personally know a ridiculous number of men who would rip out a kidney to save a stranger, but wouldn't wash dishes at home to save their life. Their wife has a place to be in, the kitchen or laundry room or the bedroom. We have been conditioned to follow the great commission to save the world, but treat our wives like servants. Our wives know something is wrong with this, but they don't know what. We know something is wrong, but it benefits us, so why mess with it? Right?
Here's the problem. Use all the submission scriptures you want, put them in any context, any order or any language you want. Convince yourself they are absolutes in the order of the universe. Ready?
Then compare them to this one. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Stop shaking your head. Stop making excuses and arguments. Listen.

Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.

He didn't just die. He have up his life, his potential, his desires, maybe even his dreams; just to do what was best for us. He pushed aside the whole world and all he could have had to take care of us. He faced the Roman army, the Jewish leaders, the backstabbing followers, the torture, the cross, the grave, hell itself to to save us. But you can't fold laundry or walk away from a conversations when your wife is waiting. You can't call if you are going to be late. You can't take the time to figure out who she is and what she likes. What flowers does she like? Favorite food, color, season, memory, dress, anything? I am angry at myself over this, too. I didn't get it either. Twenty years. I drug her around, neglected her, ignored her, treated her like meat, objectified her and ultimately abused her. Once I understood what was happening, it shook my world. We have been deceived. That woman who has patiently put up with your crap for all these years deserves much, much better.
Comment, complain, curse, cry.... Whatever. We have to do better for our wives.
Go to this site, register and start reading. Best Marriage forums and calls now, seriously.
These guys saved my family. They opened my eyes to what I had become and why my wife was done with me. We are a success story. Just over three years later, happier than the first year together. It's real and you can have it. Click the link, get involved. Save your family.
Ok. Done with the soapbox for now.

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